A Tale of Two Cities

So, where are you from?

When people ask me this question, I stutter and freeze up a bit. I usually give a pretty long answer. Sometimes I get emotional.

Over the weekend my husband and I were visiting with his family in Katy, Texas, a suburb of Houston. Andrew's uncle Jim is Canadian, and despite living in Houston for over 20 years, said he will always identify as a Canadian. His two children Sheila and Daniel grew up in Katy, went to UT at Austin, and now move all over the world. We speculated on what Sheila and Daniel identify as: Austinites? Houstonians? Texans? Generic urbanities or former suburbanites?

This brought up a larger personal question for me: What do I identify as?

The answer is complicated. I am a Houstonian/Pittsburgh ex-pat. I live in Houston and have embraced it in many ways, but I still strongly identify with and miss Pittsburgh. There are days I miss Pittsburgh so badly, I dream about rivers (real rivers, not bayous) and bridges (not highway entrance ramps) and snow (not in the form of Tampico slushies). I watch Pittsburgh Dad videos and laugh by myself because no one else here gets it. I forced my group of Houston friends to eat Halupki. During Steeler home games, I comment loudly to everyone at the bar how beautiful Pittsburgh is and how awesome/terrible the Steelers are. No fries here are as good as O fries, and do not even get me started on pizza in Houston. There are days where I would literally stab someone for some Mineo's or a late night Antoon's run. And most importantly, my entire family is in Pittsburgh.

I left Pittsburgh because I had an amazing job opportunity in Houston, thinking I would only be here a few years. And don't get me wrong, I wanted a break from Pittsburgh. I was tired of the weather, the college hangouts, the stale politics. But before I knew it, I was getting married in Houston, my career was moving up quickly, and we were buying a condo. In a blink of an eye, seven years flew by.

I recently watched "My Tale of Two Cities" which is a documentary about returning to Pittsburgh, filmed by Carl Kurlander. After living in LA for years, he decides to return to Pittsburgh to raise his daughter and support the "comeback" of the city. He struggles emotionally and financially as he tries to make sense of the future of the city and of his life there. I bawled at the end scene, feeling like the whole movie so accurately portrayed the emotions of so many of us ex-pats.

To me, Pittsburgh is like an ex-lover, one that you broke up with for all the right reasons but just can't quite get over.

My life in my other city, Houston, is great. I own a home, have a flourishing career and secure job, and am able to live a very comfortable life. I've met people from all over the world, tried all kinds of new food and activities, and have felt welcome from the moment I arrived. My friends here are some of the most amazing and wonderful people I have ever met. My earlier posts are all authentic reflections on how much I have grown to love this city. There are many, many transplants here (like my husband) who now identify with this city more than where they grew up.

Houston is great on paper. Houston makes sense.

So where does that leave me? Will I be a Houstonian forever pining for Pittsburgh? Is there ever a point where you "get over" your hometown, or your desire to return to it? Can you ever really go back?